Recently, I’ve been wrestling with a question: When do we stop calling each other names? We did it in elementary school, and everyone laughed, but at some point, we all grow up ... don't we?

When do we stop using derogatory statements and words to describe those we disagree with or struggle with?

When do we stop learning? When do we stop investing in education and seeking to better understand the world around us? Recently, I read Walter Isaacson’s book about Leonardo da Vinci. One of the most impressive things about Leonardo was his decision to move from not only seeking knowledge that could be of practical value but seeking knowledge for its own sake –– out of pure curiosity and joy.

It’s a decision that each of us must make: What will define us? Will it be the hurt and pain or our values and relationships? While I know the ugly moments shape us, they don’t have to define us.

As I look back on my time in that hospital room, I'm reminded that healing is rarely instantaneous. Whether you're recovering from an illness, navigating loss, rebuilding a relationship, or simply trying to move forward, don't underestimate the power of your next best choice. Each choice has the power to build resilience. It may seem small now, but over time, your choices can lead to extraordinary transformation.

Recently, I read Walter Isaacson’s wonderful and well-written book about Benjamin Franklin. Isaacson describes Franklin in two specific ways. The first was as a man committed to conversation, compromise, and tolerance. The second was as a founding father who emphasized middle-class values.

I don’t need you to see the world as I do, and I don’t think all of us need to agree, but we can disagree in kind and generous ways. I don’t need to be ugly or unkind in stating my beliefs, and I don’t need to defame, humiliate, or dehumanize someone because we disagree. We can make our statements without trying to destroy the lives of others.

There are times when the cold wind still blows in my life, and I find myself fighting off the wolves (thoughts, emotions, and doubts) that rush in when I least expect them.

But, I am reminded - both from Bear's words and in the writing of my recent book - that the battles are not over simply because I’ve prayed the prayer and said, “Amen.”  Instead, I choose to get up and move forward. I choose the Best!!

One of my favorite stories of resilience is that of the 1972 Uruguayan rugby team. The story is quite remarkable. On October 12, 1972, Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571, carrying 45 athletes and family members, crashed in a remote part of the Andes mountains. Only 16 passengers survived, but they were trapped with no real hope of survival. They had no radio, food, supplies, or certainty of being found. “We had to make a plan. We had to save ourselves.”

We must never forget that part of what makes us unique as humans created in God image is the ability to turn failure, destruction, adversity, and even death into something significant.

All I need to do is look back (change my perspective) and recognize all the ways God’s hand has been at work. Maybe the right question is not why bad things happen in life, but where is God working when I’m living in the struggles.

How does one find resiliency in llife? How do we bounce back, rise to our best form, and move forward when life is hard? Lyndsey Vonn reminds us that we don’t have to let the adversities, challenges, and crashes of life determine success.

Katie and I pushed the button on Amazon to send my new book to print. Countless hours, conversations, meetings, and amounts of effort have gone into this accomplishment. I never thought that I would write a book, but my hope is that our story and lessons learned from the last 15 years will serve as a source of encouragement for countless others.

Why write a book? A few weeks ago, my friend and author, Bob Goff, asked me why I had taken on this task. He immediately said, “You didn’t do it with the idea of getting rich. I know you better than that.” For me it was easy, it was the same conversation I had been having with God for the last two decades, “just put me in a place where my life can make the biggest difference.”

If you’ve ever lived with a serious physical struggle (cancer or a stroke) or even a significant life issue (loss of a job or divorce) then you know that in those moments the chaos is swirling. While the world seemed to stop when the word cancer was pronounced over my life, there was chaos with all sorts of questions, concerns, and anxieties that started to swirl in my mind.

While I didn’t realize it at the time my disciplines and habits did more to prepare me for my obstacles and challenges than anything I’d ever done. The consistency and effort gave me the strength to get back up each time I fell

It seems like God always uses the least likely of people and the most interesting moments in preparing the way for the season of hopeful anticipation. I’m confident that is still the case. God still speaks and proclaims in ways that we never dreamed.

I’m not sure I saw it this way at first, but I found that the obstacles I faced really opened the door for new opportunities and beginnings. In many ways, the changes associated with the challenges kept my life from returning to the same place it had been before. The challenges pushed me to think about life in different ways. Things could never quite go back to the same spot once I had faced the biggest physical, mental, career, and life hurdles.

These last few years have been filled with struggles, challenges, near-death experiences, and constant change. Yet, I can sit on this side of all of it and give thanks for all the places that God worked, intervened, and carried us.

The overly critical, mean, and demeaning church and or pastor is not the best place to be. There are good places and good people. Choose one that works best for you.

So how do you get people to care about the things you care about? That was the question posed to me several weeks ago.