Habits and Resiliency
The other day, I was working out at the gym with a friend (Eric) and he asked me, “What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned from these last few years?” It was an interesting question and to be transparent, I struggled identifying one thing. There are so many things I’ve encountered, gleaned, and learned from these years of chaos, challenge, and obstacles.
For instance…
1) I can’t do this alone.
We all like to think that we’re strong enough to make life work on our own, and yet in these moments you are constantly reminded that you need others. I couldn’t have made it without friends and family. They were there every step of the way. I owe them an enormous debt.
2) I can always get back up.
One of the key thoughts I had throughout cancer and the stroke was, “You can’t keep me down. I’ll get up! I always get back up. Thus, I learned quickly to lean into the idea from Angela Duckworth in her book Grit, “If I fall 7 times, I get back up 8 times.” I never stay down.
3) Be prepared.
In his latest book Notes on Being a Man, Scott Galloway talks about how his time as a Boy Scout helped to prepare him for life. As well, he notes that Robert Buden Powell, a former British army officer and rumored spy founded the Boy Scouts in the early 20th century. Thus, Buden Powell took the initials of his name and created the motto Be Prepared.
For me, it was my disciplines and habits that helped me be prepared for my obstacles and challenges. I have consistently tracked my habits for the last 25+ years. Tracking them gives me the opportunity to review how well I’m doing and allows me space to assess where I can improve.
What I didn’t recognize until much later was that the consistency and effort gave me the strength to get back up each time I fell. Looking back, those habits helped me work through the toxic leadership I endured and gave me the courage and strength to keep moving through cancer and a stroke.
One of my physicians repeatedly told me that my habit of working out each day gave me the physical strength to keep going when others wouldn’t have been able to. Looking back, I would have never made it without those habits and disciplines. They were the difference for me. That’s why I still lean into them every day and even after almost 30 years, I’m still track my weekly disciplines.
4) The best is still to come.
One of the best books I read last year was 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. I liked it enough to buy a copy for each of my sons. Reading is one of my daily disciplines or habits.
In the book Jordan Peterson says this about the future: “The future is like the past. But there’s a crucial difference. The past is fixed, but the future – it could be better. The present is eternally flawed. But where you start might not be as important as the direction you are heading. Perhaps happiness is always to be found in the journey uphill and not in the fleeting sense of satisfaction awaiting at the next peak. Much of happiness is hope, no matter how deep the underworld in which that hope was conceived.”
Perhaps you feel like you’re traveling uphill emotionally, physically, spiritually, or relationally. If that’s the case, I want to encourage you. The past doesn’t have to determine the future. You can change your course. You can give your best to what’s ahead. Start moving in the right direction. Lean into the habits and disciplines that help make you the best version of yourself. You can rise again. You can be your best.
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