Rethinking Social Media
“Is there anyone who ever remembers changing their mind from the paint on a sign?” (from Belief, by John Mayer)
Katie and I have a friend who told us that she met Jesus at a Bob Dylan concert. She said she was walking out of the concert, and a guy was holding a John 3:16 sign. She wrote the reference on her hand, and the next day went down to the local church and asked the pastor what it meant.
It is the only situation I know where the writing on a sign, wall, or post really changed someone’s life. In too many other situations the blogs, posts, and signs only work to defame, dehumanize, and destroy others.
I was reminded of this a few days ago when I came upon a blog post describing a church and pastor who had recently disaffiliated from a denomination. I read the blog because I know the church and the pastor it was referencing. While I didn’t find it super scandalous, I did find several fibs, incorrect statements, and blatant lies about the pastor, the church, and some of the parishioners. In full transparency, the pastor and many of the parishioners are good friends.
As I try to do each time, I reached out to the men who authored and posted the blog to let them know that they had told blatant lies about my friends. What I got back was very intriguing. One gentleman responded immediately and wanted to know where the lies were. When I told him, he corrected some, but not all.
After several days, the other author finally responded with countless paragraphs informing me that I was wrong to defend the folks, and then proceeded to divulge his extensive resume, assuring me his views were correct. Finally, he told me about his relationship to my in-laws in hopes that it would encourage me to move on.
What each of them failed to do was simply apologize and remove the blog/post. Both felt compelled to leave the blog up with little to no changes. And while I understand their reasons for writing and posting the blog, what I don’t understand is what value it really served. How is the world made better by posting or writing defamatory and ugly things about others?
These two men were hoping to be the voice of reason regarding Christian ethics in a challenging world. Yet, at this point in my life, I’m unaware of anyone whose worldview, theological perspective, or social choices have been changed by Facebook.
In fairness, I’m comfortable with silly political and theological statements and discussion; what I do not understand is why we feel compelled to throw others under the bus in defense of our beliefs.
I don’t need you to see the world as I do, and I don’t think all of us need to agree, but we can disagree in kind and generous ways. I don’t need to be ugly or unkind in stating my beliefs, and I don’t need to defame, humiliate, or dehumanize someone because we disagree. We can make our statements without trying to destroy the lives of others.
In the words of the American musician Billie Eilish, “Get my pretty name out of your mouth.”
Or as Bayard Rustin would say, “The only way to reduce ugliness in the world is to reduce it in yourself.”
Perhaps all of us need to rethink what we post about each other.