WHAT DEFINES ME?
“Who are you?” is a question asked throughout the course of time, in movies, music, and even scripture. In recent years, it’s been asked in Batman Begins, but one of the first times I remember it being asked was in 1978 by Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend with the band “The Who.” It’s a song that has been used on TV shows such as CSI, The Masked Singer, Two and a Half Men, and still resonates today. It is a simple question we often ask ourselves.
I had one of those “who are you” moments several years ago when I was in Uganda. I was there with a group of friends, old and new, working with OneWorld Health to bring medical care to communities with no access to basic healthcare. Most people on the trip didn’t know each other, so each morning as we drove to the medical site, I would ask specific folks to tell us about themselves. It was a simple question: “Who are you?”
Over the next several days, we listened intently to each other’s stories. We shared about careers, relationships, education, and in some cases fears and struggles. When my time came to share, I shared about my time as a pastor, chaplain, VP, fundraiser, and told them about the most important people in my life (Katie and the kids). It didn’t take long, but those were the important things for me.
When we stopped at the medical site that day, one of my longtime friends who was on the trip said, “You didn’t tell them about cancer or the stroke.” As we stood there for a minute, I pondered why I had skipped those things. Then I said, “I don’t want those things to define me.”
You see, there are more important things in my life than the obstacles and challenges I’ve faced. While stage 3 cancer and the stroke have shaped my life and are part of my story, they are not the things that define who I am as a person.
My life is driven and defined by things that are much bigger and more important than the struggles, hurt, and pain. My life is defined by my relationships, my values, and my actions. I refuse to let the struggles be the defining elements of my life.
It’s a decision that each of us must make: What will define us? Will it be the hurt and pain or our values and relationships? While I know the ugly moments shape us, they don’t have to define us. I want to encourage you to locate your identity in something bigger and greater than your struggles.
What defines you?